Category Archives: Photos

The Michelle Bombshell Nudes

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

I'm only posting these nude/topless photos of Michelle "Bombshell" McGee so future generations will know we spent the latter half of March estimating just how many genital sores Jesse James received by having an affair with The World's Tattooiest Little Nazi and learn from our mistakes. On that note, let the record show this writer guessed 87, 12 of which looked like Hitler smiling. NOTE: Full Size versions are NSFW. UPDATE: Turns out we were all wrong and WP actually stands for "Wet Pussy." Except now it's "Wow, Jesse James' Penis Is A Cyborg If It Hasn't Fallen Off Yet." Scope Out (24) Pics of Michelle Bombshell Naked After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Real Housewife Doesn’t Need A Personal Trainer!!

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 19, 2010
Damn! Not exactly the safest way to work on your fitness, but at least she's looking fierce while she does it! Real Housewife of New York City Kelly Bensimon got her cardio on during a run through the streets of Manhattan yesterday, and we don't know how she looks so composed. She's barely even [...]
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Crazy Britney rears its head and other news

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

- Katherine Heigl blows a chance to remain relevant. [Dlisted] - George Clooney voted for Jeff Bridges at the Oscars. [Lainey Gossip] - Kim Kardashian still a ninja at stealthing body fat. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Cindy Margolis is apparently still alive. And breasty. [HollywoodTuna] - Demi Moore saves another life on Twitter even though I'm pretty sure if you're self-absorbed enough to tweet your suicide attempt, you're probably not gonna follow through on it. [PopEater] - Madonna wore that dress for Lindsay Lohan. I guarantee it. [TheFABlife] - Sandra Bullock might've had suspicions during the Oscars. [Huffington Post] - Anne Nicole Smith's estate denied oil fortune. Does no one respect an honest day's gold-digging anymore? C'mon. [StarPulse] - Jessica Simpson has the same success on TV as she does in movies. (Hint: None.) [Celebslam] - Jesse James has no problem showing his face. [PopSugar] - Hugh Jackman dancing for iced tea. Why not? [Just Jared] - Lindsay Lohan spins getting turned away at a nightclub by comparing herself to Jay-Z. [The Blemish] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Photos: Fame
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Lindsay Lohan never texted dad in the hospital

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

Seen here getting turned away at Trousdale because the other customers have to drink, too, Lindsay Lohan informed Gossip Cop she never texted her dad while he was in the hospital:
After reading the Radar story, we contacted Lindsay to apologize for being the ones to first break the news of her dad's hospitalization to her, but that we saw she reached out to him.
Not so fast.
Lindsay, whose personal life and conversations have become public because her dad secretly recorded phone calls with her and her mother, actually did NOT contact her father.
In response to our mentioning the Radar "exclusive," Lindsay told Gossip Cop she "didn't" contact Michael Lohan at all.
I'm mostly posting this to remind everyone Michael Lohan will say a duck's a cow if it'll get his name in the press. Which also explains why his daughter is currently being shunned from society to protect our precious liquor reserves. Now tell me somebody's posting tanks outside convenience stores because anything less and we're just jerking each other off and calling it a magic show. (I don't know military talk.)
Photos: Pacific Coast News
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Octomom’s losing her house

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

To the absolute joy of anyone paying taxes in California, Octomom's house is about to be foreclosed due to lack of payments. TMZ reports:
As we first reported, Octo didn't make a balloon payment of $450,000 on March 10. She's also behind $4,139 on monthly payments.
The person who sold the house to Octo and holds the note, Amer Haddadin, tells TMZ he will give her until Tuesday to pay the two amounts, plus interest and attorney's fees, or his lawyer will file to foreclose on the house.
I can't even imagine why Octomom hasn't been making payments to keep her kids probably sheltered. It's not like she's out constantly shopping or paying a battalion of nannies so she can go clubbing in New York like I'm sarcastically describing just now. But, seriously, it's probably not a bad idea to foreclose on Octomom considering she apparently turns into the goddamn devil when the lights go out. I can't say I didn't already suspect this, but seeing it before my eyes makes me realize shoving crucifixes in uteri isn't such a bad idea after all. (You win this round, church.)
Photos: Splash News
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Look Who’s A Hands-On Mom

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 19, 2010
We love seeing pictures of Marcia Cross out with her her twins, Eden and Savannah. She always looks like such a caring, hands-on mom! The Desperate Housewife spent the afternoon in the park yesterday and seems be to having as much fun as her kiddies. You look happy and relaxed, Marcia! We know the past [...]
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Stephanie Seymour Hot MILF Bikini Pictures

By The Grumpiest | Published: March 19, 2010
I’m aware that pictures of a 40 something year old former supermodel playing on the beach aren’t exactly the most exciting pictures you’ll see all day but I’m hungover like a homeless guy after a mouthwash giveaway so that’s all you’re going to get. I’m heading to the couch for some quality alone [...]
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Stephanie Seymour’s nipple is back

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

Stephanie Seymour showed some more nipple in St. Bart's yesterday and in the process proceeded to remind us that supermodels are our most precious commodity. I don't really know what that statement means, but if anyone decides to store some in a bunker to avoid their extinction, I volunteer myself to turn that bunker into a heterosexual episode of Oz. That sounded way less creepy in my head. Scope Out (40) Pics of Stephanie Seymour After the Jump
Photos: Fame, Splash News
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Kim Kardashian’s Sweet Big Purprle Ass

By The Grumpiest | Published: March 19, 2010
Here’s Kim Kardashian teasing me with her curves in her killer purple dress. That’s not all that’s purple. Did that joke make sense? I doubt it. It was supposed to be a reference to blue balls, but her dress is purple so I guess I blew it. [...]
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Heidi Montag fired her psychic manager

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

Heidi Montag is going through managers like they're new chins, according to Us Magazine:
On Monday, Montag, 23, began shooting a cameo in the comedy Just Go With It, starring Adam Sandler, Jennifer Aniston and Nicole Kidman. When reached for comment, Montag's rep told Us Thursday: "Aiden had nothing to do with securing Heidi's role in the movie."
But a source tells Us that Montag was "horrified" when he showed up on set, "demanding a significant portion of her Hills money."
The source adds that when Chase, 40, recently followed her as she filmed MTV's The Hills, he tried to "move onto Audrina [Patridge]," whom he not only offered his healing/spiritual services but also asked to be her manager, the insider tells Us.
In Psychic Man's defense, I'd probably start hitting on Audrina Patridge, too, if I saw her essentially have a Tit Battle with Heidi Montag in the middle of a restaurant. Or I'd just solidify my clairvoyant cred by making eerily accurate predictions out loud. "I'm going to disappear in the restroom for a while now... There will be noises... An officer of the law will arrive... Statements shall be made..." Scope Out Audrina and Heidi After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Bar Refaeli Sports Illustrated Bikini Pictures

By The Grumpiest | Published: March 19, 2010
When it comes to bikini pictures it’s best to leave it to the experts. Here’s supermodel Bar Refaeli in a nice little bikini showing all you girls out there what a bikini is supposed to look like. Notice how there isn’t a pierced roll of fat hanging over the front of her [...]
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Jesse James banged a Nazi

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

Apparently Jesse James' penis is a divining rod for crazy because he managed to not only stick it in a heavily-tattooed woman who grew up Amish, she's also a Nazi. TMZ has obtained photos from last year of Michelle posing in Nazi attire and court documents in her child custody case reveal she has white power memorabilia all over her house even though - wait for it - her son is Jewish. Sandra Bullock has to be bathing with Brillo pads right now. On that note, kudos to everyone in the comments who noticed the letters W and P on Michelle's legs and assumed it meant White Power. (I was leaning towards Wiener Parking Lot.)
Photos: Splash News, TMZ
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How Would You Get Back At An Ex?

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

The Bounty Hunter starring Jennifer Aniston and Gerard Butler wants to know how you'd get back at an ex. I'm usually comfortable just knowing they had to put up with me in the first place, but maybe you guys are a little more creative which means we should never date. The Bounty Hunter in Theaters Now.
How would you get back at an ex?
  • Lose ten pounds
  • Like their single status on Facebook
  • Date their friends
  • Make out with their BFF
Created on Mar 12, 2010

View Results

poll by twiigs.com
- ADVERTISEMENT -
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Jesse James apologizes to Sandra Bullock

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

Jesse James released the following statement to People today apologizing to his family for recent reports of an affair with stripper/porn star Michelle "Bombshell" McGee (above):
"The vast majority of the allegations reported are untrue and unfounded. Beyond that, I will not dignify these private matters with any further public comment.
"There is only one person to blame for this whole situation, and that is me. It's because of my poor judgment that I deserve everything bad that is coming my way.
"This has caused my wife and kids pain and embarrassment beyond comprehension and I am extremely saddened to have brought this on them. I am truly very sorry for the grief I have caused them. I hope one day they can find it in their hearts to forgive me."
So I'm guessing the vast minority of the allegations that are true involve a tattooed vagina, the words "open marriage" and a cotton swab to the urethra because condoms are for suckers. But at least Jesse James is man enough to admit his mistake and then basically assume his family will forgive him one day, so who wants to fuck? Or was that not the message? Scope Out (20) Pics of Michelle "Bombshell" McGee After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Kristen Stewart looking surprisingly good and other news

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

- Miley Cyrus should give lessons to Amanda Seyfried. [Lainey Gossip] - Michelle "Bombshell" McGee pulls a Joslyn James. Or is it vice versa? [Dlisted] - Padma Lakshmi's baby daddy was apparently a mystery. Until now. [PopEater] - Jessica Alba's still has breasts. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Audrina Patridge's wonk boobs shan't be restrained! [HollywoodTuna] - Rihanna's planning Katy Perry's bachelorette party. Hope she likes Chris Brown pinatas. [TheFABlife] - Lindsay Lohan might be banned from India. [Huffington Post] - Tiger Woods gets the South Park treatment in case you haven't seen the words "alien wizards" 50,000 times today. [Amy Grindhouse] - Beyonce and Alicia Keys. Ain't nothing wrong with that. [Bossip] - Kendra Wilkinson trashes Kate Gosselin. [ICYDK] - Lady GaGa asked Boy George to sign her vagina. [Socialite Life] - Madonna shows Lindsay Lohan she's not fucking around. [Betty Confidential] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Photos: Splash News
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Take It Off R-Patz!

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 18, 2010
The hat, we mean! You just got your hair back into fighting form and now you want to cover it up! Stop teasing us! Robert Pattinson shoved his luscious locks into a beanie last night as he exited the after party for the UK Remember Me premiere. For shame, R-Patz! Let the tousles free! Let the Twi-hards bask [...]
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Tiger Woods is romantic

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

Because hush money doesn't go as far as it used to these days, Joslyn James has launched an entire website dedicated to posting text messages she supposedly received from Tiger Woods during their affair. Here's just a couple samples from Tiger's alternate personality who apparently has a PhD in anal sex:
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Considering Joslyn James' entire family has labeled her a pathological liar, I'm almost 90% certain she's just re-posting dialog from her latest porn and waiting for a giant check. Although TMZ has a convincing theory to the contrary. And if it is true, I want to know how the hell we lost the greatest erotic writer of our time to the most boring sport known to man. It's like a master chef deciding he wants to reheat oatmeal for a living. I mean, Jesus Christ.
Photos: Splash News
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Holly Madison wins St. Patrick’s Day

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

As a full-time drunk/part-time appreciator of midgets as props, I can safely say Holly Madison has completely captured the very essence of St. Patrick's Day better than anyone puking into a shamrock hat last night. I'd almost qualify this more by revealing I'm Irish, but truthfully my grandfather was the son of a logging camp whore - not even a joke - so for all we know my family's 3/4ths grizzly bear. *sniff sniff* Dammit, who's menstruating again? We talked about this. Scope Out (16) Pics of Holly Madison After the Jump
Photos: WENN
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Britney Spears saw Jason Trawick shoot a nun. That’s the only explanation here.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

Despite reports of a break-up, Britney Spears and Jason Trawick were spotted shopping together in Beverly Hills yesterday essentially confirming her dad's paying him a shit-ton of money. I mean, there's no way these two are having sex. It'd be like taking advantage of a retarded person which is just horrible all around. A.) They have no idea what's going on so you might as well hump a couch that wants to watch cartoons. And B.) It's almost impossible to look yourself in the mirror after seeing a team of bodyguards hose your lover down with a fire hose because she throws punches if you put her in the shower. You're never quite the same after that. Scope Out (16) Pics of Britney and Jason After the Jump
Photos: Fame, Splash News
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Heidi Montag missed a spot

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

I honestly don't know if there's anything specifically wrong with Heidi Montag's ass cheeks in these photos, but I do know just posting them here will make her drop another small fortune on surgeries until she looks like a bleached Kim Kardashian or strokes out trying. On that note, I'll be mentally preparing myself for Heidi looking like Robocop in five years and me still wanting to touch her boobs. (You can't fight destiny.) Scope Out (20) Pics of Heidi Montag After the Jump
Photos: INFdaily, Pacific Coast News, Splash News
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