Category Archives: NSFW

Porn Star Leaks Her Tiger Woods Sexts

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 18, 2010
If this stuff is legit then… WOW, what a freak! Joslyn James has launched her new wesbite, sextingjoslynjames.com, and posted alleged text messages sent from Tiger Woods during their three year affair! WARNING: These get pretty raunchy. Not that we expected anything less! Check out just a few of the crazy sexts below: Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM [...]
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Stephanie Seymour in a bikini and some nipple

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 17, 2010

Here's former supermodel Stephanie Seymour in St. Barts yesterday looking pretty damn good for whatever depressing age she is. (I'm afraid to Google it.) She also flashed some nipple which is exciting only if a blurry areola combined with the unsexiest face to make at the time is your thing. I'm more of a drunken vagina flash man myself, but that speaks more to my appreciation for fine showmanship. Scope Out (24) Pics of Stephanie Seymour After the Jump
Photos: Fame, INFdaily
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Paris Hilton sunbathing topless

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 12, 2010

Paris Hilton did some topless sunbathing in Mexico yesterday morning and I'm legitimately surprised she has normal nipples that don't glow green from gamma radiation. (No offense to She-Hulk. Yours are supposed to look like that.) NOTE: Full Size versions are NSFW and the crotch ones was starred mostly out of concern for public safety.
Photos: Splash News
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It’s Coco Time.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 10, 2010

As a gift to her fans for reaching 60,000 Twitter followers, Coco posted a picture of herself standing naked in a tanning bed which is exactly why I take time out each month to recognize her fine service to the Internet. When anthropologists in the future look back at our civilization I imagine Coco will be revered as almost a real-life Wonder Woman. Or Marilyn Monroe with gigantic tits. NOTE: Full size version contains a grainy, quasi-NSFW allusion to vagina.
Photos: Cocosworld
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Lady GaGa’s nipples promote safe sex

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 1, 2010

Lady GaGa attended the MAC Viva Glam launch in London today where she encouraged her fans to use a condom or else they'll die like that guy in The Deer Hunter. Okay, sure. FOX 411 reports:
"I see them every night and they are so beautiful and precious and lovely, but some of them are insecure and very troubled and not confident," she said. "I meet them and they cry, and they say 'Gaga you make me feel like I belong.'
"And I think to myself about that one girl or those hundreds of thousands of girls who meet that guy at a club who makes them feel like they belong and they don't have that negotiation. We all know that having sex without a condom is ... Russian roulette."
As someone who frequently has sex without a condom, I'd just like to say that not once has it ended with a woman taking a bullet to the head. They only get pregnant and find out I gave them a fake name which is possibly the greatest gift you could ever give a person. Who wants a guy constantly having sex near their children? That can't be good for them. NOTE: Full Size versions are slightly NSFW. If you squint.
Photos: Getty, Splash News, WENN
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Carrie Prejean is living in sin

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 25, 2010

RadarOnline reports "traditional marriage" crusader and former Miss California Carrie Prejean is living with in sin with her fiance Kyle Boller of the St. Louis Rams where they're no doubt eating shellfish. BURN THEM!:
Carrie and Kyle got engaged in early February after a whirlwind romance and a sexy trip to Hawaii.
A source close to the couple confirmed to RadarOnline.com that Carrie has indeed moved in. "She's living there. He's remodeling the house and she's helping him."
Of course learning an outspoken Christian with fake tits is a hypocrite isn't exactly news, but check out the trend Carrie Prejean has started. Here's Laura Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 telling FOX News gay people should be stoned:
"If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them. The Bible is pretty black and white."
So if this pattern continues, we can pretty much count on a 2011 Miss California contender walking onstage with Perez Hilton's severed head. I'm suddenly on-board with this. More Pics of Carrie Prejean's Nipples
Photos: Fame
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Elizabeth Hurley still has nipples

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 24, 2010

Elizabeth Hurley attended the Love Ball in London last night wearing a dress that might as well have had a hole cut out of it for her left breast. Obviously someone said something to her inside because she walked out sheepishly clutching a program over her chest. I can only imagine how that conversation went... SHERLOCK HOLMES: So, you see, Watson, losing to the colonies in the war was elementary- By jove, I can see your bosom! ELIZABETH HURLEY: Oh my! How embarrassing. Spot of tea? QUEEN OF ENGLAND: OFF WITH HER HEAD! [Full Disclosure: This is pretty much how I assume every conversation in England goes. And sometimes Gwyneth Paltrow is a chimney sweep.] NOTE: Full size versions are NSFW. Scope Out (12) Pics of Elizabeth Hurley After the Jump
Photos: Getty, WENN
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Robert Pattinson really hates that vagina

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 19, 2010

Details just released more shots from their 10th Anniversary Issue featuring Robert Pattinson, and these pics really aren't doing the Twilight franchise any favors. This is clearly a man not happy to be in a room full of naked vaginas, and there's no way you can pass off the look on his face as "wistfully dreaming of his bride-to-be." He looks like a kid home from college being told the pan flute isn't a "real major." NOTE: Full size versions are NSFW.
Photos courtesy of Details
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This’ll wake you up.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 18, 2010

Does Richie Rich actually design clothes? I ask because it seems like every single one of his fashion shows revolves around Pamela Anderson showing everyone where the hepatitis is. Maybe I'm just ignorant of the inner-workings of the fashion industry, but I'm pretty sure he hasn't designed a single thing since he found the magic flute that controls Pam's every move. "Shit, fashion week already? Damn you, mimosas! *doot a loot toot ootle loot* Nipples. Stage. GO!" Scope Out (16) Pics of Pamela Anderson After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Lady GaGa definitely doesn’t have a penis

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 17, 2010

Here's Lady GaGa at the Brit Awards last night effectively shooting down rumors she's an hermaphrodite. Apparently her Grammy outfit didn't do the job, so there was really no option but to go full clitoris. YOU MADE THIS HAPPEN WITH YOUR MINDS. NOTE: Having some issues uploading uncensored versions this morning - divine providence perhaps? - so the NSFW shots are the last row. Don't get fired. NOTE: Full size versions are now NSFW (might have to refresh) and I removed the uncensored shots from the bottom row. For the sake of humanity. NOTE: Bumped to the top just to see if I could add one more note to this post. I win! Scope Out (12) Pics of Lady GaGa After the Jump
Photos: Getty
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Cameron Diaz’s nipple

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 12, 2010

I was about to let the entire weekend ride on what may or may not be Snooki's quasi-naked ass, when thankfully for you, Cameron Diaz's nipple decided to pop out in Malibu today. Granted this requires everyone to look near her gaping mouth, scientists tell me it's gravitational pull isn't nearly as strong as previously predicted. You only need one ship's anchor in your lap. Pics link to NSFW versions.
Photos: Flynet, Splash News
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Kate Moss and Natalia Vodianova are naked

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 10, 2010

Because I appreciate fine art that gives me a boner, here's supermodels Kate Moss and Natalia Vodianova posing nude for the Spring/Summer 2010 issue of Love. I'd like to see Heidi Montag try pulling off a spread this classy, but that'd require her to not be able to survive passing through the Earth's atmosphere because she's 85% space age polymers. Life's a bitch that way. Thanks to Andrew Squires who wants more Mona Lisa ass shots. (I'm trying.)
Photos: Love
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Jennifer Aniston’s blurry nipple

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 8, 2010

I put off posting these all day because, personally, I prefer a naked Anna Torv and Blake Lively through a telephoto lens over a pack of cougars in bikinis. Fortunately that move paid off because I had time to notice Jennifer Aniston's right breast is completely hanging out while she's talking to Sheryl Crow in Mexico over the weekend. Granted the pic is a tad blurry, but that's definitely an areola and nipple. Trust me, I own a magnifying glass and one of those Sherlock Holmes hats so it's impossible for me to tell a lie. .... My penis fires Tiffany's gift cards. And sometimes shoes. Scope Out (28) Pics of Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox & Sheryl Crow After the Jump
Photos: Flynet, Splash News
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Coco is everything that is right about everything

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 2, 2010

After seeing the latest pic of Coco squatting on her sink make the Internet rounds today, I realized it's been way too long since I plundered her Twitter account for erotic hilarity. So join me as I catch up with the the life of Coco through the magic of penis jokes in the captions. NOTE: Out of consideration for readers who actually work for a living, I defied the laws of physics by somehow managing to star some of Coco's body parts whose sheer mass alone defy the laws of decency. And my heart. Pics link to NSFW versions.
Photos: Coco's World
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Doutzen Kroes has nipples

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 1, 2010

Somehow I completely missed these shots of Doutzen Kroes wearing a see-through bra in St. Barth's on Thursday, so here they are or else I wouldn't be able to look at myself in the mirror. -- More than usual. *flexes* Aw, yeah. Who's Eric Roberts in Best of the Best? That's right, you're Eric Roberts in Best of the Best. (This doesn't make me gay.)
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Ali Larter’s Vagina

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 29, 2010

CALVIN KLEIN: Please, come to my party. ALI LARTER: I dunno.... CALVIN KLEIN: C'mon. What's the worst thing that could happen?
Photos: Splash News
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I will never get an erection again.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 25, 2010

Here's a topless Donatella Versace in St. Barth's yesterday and I don't know how the hell the paparazzi knew this was her let alone a live human being. Seriously, it looks like someone pulled Pamela Anderson out of the sun's core then told her sunscreen would help. "No, really, it doesn't look that bad. Coppertone?" Pics link to NSFW versions.
Photos: Flynet
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The Jesus Penis

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 22, 2010

For those of you screaming in the comments for me to show some cock, I give you the wang of Jesus Luz. This is a recently-leaked outtake from his infamous W photo shoot that I can't understand why it didn't run. I mean, who doesn't appreciate a shriveled, young Brazilian penis and Broomhilda? You're pretty much hitting all the bases there. NOTE: The Superficial is not responsible for any women unable to moisten due to the presence of Madonna's face. Her sorcery is very arid.
Photo: W
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Zoe Saldana’s nipples and other news

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 22, 2010

- Joaquin Phoenix is done pretending he's a homeless rapper. [dlisted] - Tiger Woods rehab photo ruined his publicist's plan to release a "happy family photo" so Tiger can return to hitting golf balls for billions of dollars. [PopEater] - Jessica Simpson's launching a line of jeans to make "a girl's booty look good." So in her case, a pair would come with a cloaking device. [Lainey Gossip] - Lady GaGa as a lowly intern in 2005. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Olivia Munn and Chris Pine were reminded by Paramount they signed an agreement. [Just Jared] - Mischa Barton owes $21,000 in unpaid rent and there's no way she'll earn that kind of money again. Just no way. [Celebslam] - Amy Winehouse's ex Blake Fielder-Civil met an Amy Winehouse-look-alike tranny online and banged it repeatedly. Romance isn't dead, kids. [The Blemish] - Bristol Palin wants Levi Johnston's penis money. [Betty Confidential] - Alex Rodriguez: "Which one was Kate?" [Socialite Life] - Jon Gosselin makes his way to the douchebag mecca. (Not an Ed Hardy store this time.) [Splash News] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
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Carrie Prejean’s nipple. Sweet Jesus…

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 15, 2010

Dear Christianity, You're officially off the hook for Pat Robertson. Apology accepted. - The Superficial
Photos: Fame
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