Category Archives: nipple

Carrie Prejean is living in sin

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 25, 2010

RadarOnline reports "traditional marriage" crusader and former Miss California Carrie Prejean is living with in sin with her fiance Kyle Boller of the St. Louis Rams where they're no doubt eating shellfish. BURN THEM!:

Carrie and Kyle got engaged in early February after a whirlwind romance and a sexy trip to Hawaii.
A source close to the couple confirmed to RadarOnline.com that Carrie has indeed moved in. "She's living there. He's remodeling the house and she's helping him."

Of course learning an outspoken Christian with fake tits is a hypocrite isn't exactly news, but check out the trend Carrie Prejean has started. Here's Laura Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 telling FOX News gay people should be stoned:

"If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them. The Bible is pretty black and white."

So if this pattern continues, we can pretty much count on a 2011 Miss California contender walking onstage with Perez Hilton's severed head. I'm suddenly on-board with this. More Pics of Carrie Prejean's Nipples

Photos: Fame

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Elizabeth Hurley still has nipples

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 24, 2010

Elizabeth Hurley attended the Love Ball in London last night wearing a dress that might as well have had a hole cut out of it for her left breast. Obviously someone said something to her inside because she walked out sheepishly clutching a program over her chest. I can only imagine how that conversation went... SHERLOCK HOLMES: So, you see, Watson, losing to the colonies in the war was elementary- By jove, I can see your bosom! ELIZABETH HURLEY: Oh my! How embarrassing. Spot of tea? QUEEN OF ENGLAND: OFF WITH HER HEAD! [Full Disclosure: This is pretty much how I assume every conversation in England goes. And sometimes Gwyneth Paltrow is a chimney sweep.] NOTE: Full size versions are NSFW. Scope Out (12) Pics of Elizabeth Hurley After the Jump

Photos: Getty, WENN

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Cameron Diaz’s nipple

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 12, 2010

I was about to let the entire weekend ride on what may or may not be Snooki's quasi-naked ass, when thankfully for you, Cameron Diaz's nipple decided to pop out in Malibu today. Granted this requires everyone to look near her gaping mouth, scientists tell me it's gravitational pull isn't nearly as strong as previously predicted. You only need one ship's anchor in your lap. Pics link to NSFW versions.

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

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Jennifer Aniston’s blurry nipple

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 8, 2010

I put off posting these all day because, personally, I prefer a naked Anna Torv and Blake Lively through a telephoto lens over a pack of cougars in bikinis. Fortunately that move paid off because I had time to notice Jennifer Aniston's right breast is completely hanging out while she's talking to Sheryl Crow in Mexico over the weekend. Granted the pic is a tad blurry, but that's definitely an areola and nipple. Trust me, I own a magnifying glass and one of those Sherlock Holmes hats so it's impossible for me to tell a lie. .... My penis fires Tiffany's gift cards. And sometimes shoes. Scope Out (28) Pics of Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox & Sheryl Crow After the Jump

Photos: Flynet, Splash News

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I will never get an erection again.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 25, 2010

Here's a topless Donatella Versace in St. Barth's yesterday and I don't know how the hell the paparazzi knew this was her let alone a live human being. Seriously, it looks like someone pulled Pamela Anderson out of the sun's core then told her sunscreen would help. "No, really, it doesn't look that bad. Coppertone?" Pics link to NSFW versions.

Photos: Flynet

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Ashley Greene’s nipple and other news

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: January 14, 2010

- David Letterman wants Conan O'Brien to appear on the The Late Show. [PopEater] - Jesus Luz's "man bush." [Lainey Gossip] - Snooki is still out there. Like the Chupacabra if it hungered only for calzones. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Tobey Maguire secretly shows up at children's parties? [Celebslam] - Kellan Lutz might be the next Conan the Barbarian. [PopSugar] - Cristiano Ronaldo is either posing for Armani or getting fire-hosed off because he's still not clean after banging Paris Hilton. [Just Jared] - Heidi Montag caused a kidnapping scare by trying to hide her new Franken-face. [Socialite Life] - Miley Cyrus doesn't understand how flashing her muffin top might attract the paparazzi. [Betty Confidential] - Audrina Patridge and Kristin Cavallari bond over their hatred of food. [Splash News] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter

Photos: Interview

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Tamara Mellon topless

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: December 21, 2009

Here's Jimmy Choo president and Christian Slater's ex-girlfirend Tamara Mellon sunbathing topless in St. Barth's yesterday. For those of you too young to even know what a Christian Slater is, let me see if I can explain him: Long ago, in the days before Lindsay Lohan hit puberty, Robert Downey Jr. and Charlie Sheen needed help making sure all the cocaine in Hollywood didn't go to waste... Pics link to NSFW versions of the weirdest looking breast I've ever seen. Scope Out (16) Pics of Tamara Mellon After the Jump

Photos: Fame, Splash News

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Shawne Merriman sues Tila Tequila

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: December 10, 2009

Proving Santa really did get my letter, Shawne Merriman is finally suing the elven pants off Tila Tequila. TMZ reports:

In the lawsuit, filed in US District Court, Merriman claims Tila posted all sorts of lies on her website, including stories that Merriman "choked and attacked" her, "sleeps with minors and forces them to take drugs," and that he manufactures drugs in his home.
Shawne also claims in the docs that Tila admitted her lying scheme, at one time stating, "yes that is why I did a 'spin' now ... cuz now everyone is LOVINGGGG me."
Merriman isn't suing for defamation though -- instead he's suing for intentional interference with contract and unfair competition as well as trademark infringement ... because Merriman claims she used his famous "Lights Out" logo on her website. Merriman also claims Tila's accusations screwed up a deal to produce a line of T-shirts for Walmart.

If this lawsuit doesn't end with a judge handing Shawne Merriman a shotgun and instructions to do "the Lord's work," I'll have lost all faith in the legal system. Seriously, what other logical ruling could come of this? Besides threatening Tila with an owl, the natural predator of the midget world.

Photos: Getty

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Lindsay Lohan’s Slutty Photos: The Movie

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: December 9, 2009

Apparently this is the photo shoot that keeps on giving because now there's a video to accompany Lindsay Lohan's "artistic rendition" of Kate Moss and Johnny Depp's romance in Muse magazine. Unfortunately this thing would've been more erotic if you couldn't smell the ashtray and skeez between glimpses of Lindsay's liver spots. Only 23 but with the hands of an 80-year-old gin fiend. I'm tantalized. Video After the Jump

Video: Muse

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Do leprechaun nipples bring good luck?

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: December 9, 2009

Here's Tila Tequila flashing a nipple at last night's release party for Snoop Dogg's "Malice N Wonderland" where she also announced she's engaged to Johnson and Johnson heiress Casey Johnson, according to Us Magazine:

"This is exclusive and going to be all over the news tomorrow, but because I love you guys so much, we are giving you the exclusive first -- Tila army fans -- tonight, my girlfriend has asked me to marry her!"
She then flashed a ring, which she said is a "17-carat diamond ring from my baby. It's so fat you can't even see it! So yeah, my baby got me this 17-carat ring. My baby takes care of me. Beat that J.Lo! Beat that Khloe and Lamar!
"Casey Johnson and Miss Tila Tequila are officially engaged. Woo!" she added.
She insisted the ring is "not fake, because my baby is a f****** baller. She's a billionaire! She's the heiress of Johnson and Johnson. Anyway, we are going to make love tonight for our honeymoon."

If Tila Tequila's telling the truth, good news, everybody, Johnson and Johnson found the cure for herpes. Also, I'm pretty sure they tipped Tiger Woods off in advance. Pic links to NSFW version.

Photos: Getty, Splash News

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Lindsay Lohan’s nipples aren’t art either

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: December 8, 2009

Some more shots from Lindsay Lohan's Muse photoshoot have made it online and this time they're full of nipple instead of non-existent ass-things that make you curse God for giving you the gift of sight. Also they provide a glimpse into how Lindsay manages to almost find employment only to end up lighting a hotel mattress on fire because she'll most likely chain smoke her way through the birth of her giant ash baby. "He's so beautiful. *exhales* Wait, where'd he go?" Pics link to NSFW versions. EDIT: And now there's a video.

Photos: Muse

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Rihanna’s nipple almost eluded us. Almost…

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: November 12, 2009

Rihanna attended the 2009 Glamour Women of the Year Awards earlier this week where apparently her nipple was completely visible the whole time. Considering she won that night, I'd like to take this time to thank the editors of Glamour for empowering women to show more nip so I can ogle them from the privacy of my home. But don't worry, it's done very tastefully. (Anyone seen my Batman costume?) Pics link to NSFW versions. Scope Out (16) Pics of Rihanna After the Jump

Photos: Getty, Splash News

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Shauna Sand flashes some nip in front of her kid. Classy.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: November 11, 2009

Because apparently it's Celeb Moms Turning Their Kids into Potential Serial Killers Day, here's Shauna Sand exposing her freakishly sewn-on nipples to the paparazzi last night - with her daughter sitting right next to her. Granted, the poor girl is probably well-trained in plugging a leaky implant by now, I'm sure just once she'd like to have a mother/daughter night that doesn't end in "Be a good girl and collect the dollar bills for mommy." Just once. Pics link to NSFW versions. Scope Out (12) Pics of Shauna After the Jump

Photos: Pacific Coast News

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Eva Mendes shows some nip

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: November 9, 2009

Eva Mendes flashed some nipple at a special screening of Bad Lieutenant in New York Sunday night which just about makes up for the last time she starred in a movie with Nicolas Cage. All I need now is five hours of fellatio, an armored truck full of gold bullion and two McRibs to call it even for Ghost Rider. (I know, I know. I'm too generous and people take advantage of me. I'm a giver!) Pics link to NSFW versions. Scope Out (20) Pics of Eva After the Jump

Photos: Getty, INFdaily, Splash News

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‘One due east, and one due south,’ he said. ‘That be her calling card.’

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: November 5, 2009

Here's a braless Britney Spears in Australia this morning and I just realized something: If her breasts were guns on a battleship, she'd be perfect for covert missions. One would destroy the enemy, while the other would take out her own ship leaving zero evidence behind. Seriously, has the Pentagon seen these? Because I'm pretty sure my obsession with tits just won the War on Terror. Like I told them I would. Who's the pervert trying to get out of paying taxes now, Washington? Scope Out (20) Pics of Britney After the Jump

Photos: INFdaily, Splash News

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Natalia Vodianova shows some nip in a magazine about V’s. Why not?

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: October 28, 2009

Russian supermodel Natalia Vodianova flashes some boob in the November issue of V because, as everyone knows, it's really not art unless someone gets an awkward erection at work and accidentally knocks over the coffeepot in the lounge with it. Picasso knows what I'm talking about. Pics link to NSFW versions.

Photos: V Magazine

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Amy Winehouse clearly can’t feel the nipples on those things

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: October 26, 2009

I didn't plan on writing two posts about Amy Winehouse today, but in my defense, who could've predicted she'd run around London tonight with her brand new bolt-ons hanging out? -- Okay, I should've seen this coming. Lots more to come as soon as I finish starring all these nips and recover from PTSD. Pics link to NSFW versions. Scope Out (20) Pics of Amy After the Jump

Photos: Splash News

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Lindsay Lohan’s blurry nipples

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: October 23, 2009

Here's Lindsay Lohan shopping in New York last night and giving the paparazzi a clear shot of her fiery chesticles, and frankly, I'm amazed those things are even there. You figure the amount of blow she goes through her chest would be concave by now and she'd be using it as a sort of makeshift glove box. Or at least that's how I envisioned it in this doodle I made where Lindsay's uppercutting Godzilla because he stopped returning her texts. But enough boring science talk, you guys came her to see some boobs. Pics are quasi-NSFW unless your employer has a lax blurred areola policy. Scope Out (12) Pics of Lindsay After the Jump

Photos: INFdaily

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Adam Lambert, what the hell are you doing?

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: October 20, 2009

Great. Awesome. They already love to go shopping and now they're making out with naked women. I was on your side, gay people! Carrie Prejean warned me about you in her retarded, hypocritical fake-breasted way that, in hindsight, nobody ever should've listened to. But still. NOTE: Pics links to NSFW version.

Photos: Details

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Lily Allen is topless again. Go figure.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: October 19, 2009

It's been 10 whole days since we've last seen Lily Allen's breasts, so here she is in Venice late last week standing topless on a balcony for no apparent reason. I love how her boyfriend Sam Cooper tries to cover up her breasts with his hands as if they're both shocked people are looking at her. Because generally when people see bare breasts their first reaction is to look the other way instead of saying "Holy shit, look at that chick's tits" which I'm pretty sure would've been the Pope's reaction. (Not a crack at Lily looking like a small boy. Entirely.) NOTE: Pics link to NSFW versions.