Category Archives: bikini

Stephanie Seymour’s nipple is back


Stephanie Seymour showed some more nipple in St. Bart's yesterday and in the process proceeded to remind us that supermodels are our most precious commodity. I don't really know what that statement means, but if anyone decides to store some in a bunker to avoid their extinction, I volunteer myself to turn that bunker into a heterosexual episode of Oz. That sounded way less creepy in my head. Scope Out (40) Pics of Stephanie Seymour After the Jump
Photos: Fame, Splash News
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Stephanie Seymour in a bikini and some nipple


Here's former supermodel Stephanie Seymour in St. Barts yesterday looking pretty damn good for whatever depressing age she is. (I'm afraid to Google it.) She also flashed some nipple which is exciting only if a blurry areola combined with the unsexiest face to make at the time is your thing. I'm more of a drunken vagina flash man myself, but that speaks more to my appreciation for fine showmanship. Scope Out (24) Pics of Stephanie Seymour After the Jump
Photos: Fame, INFdaily
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Kelly Landry in a bikini and other news


- CONTEST: Kendra wants you to kiss her for a chance at free Tiffany's jewelry. Ladies, you should get in on this. For the jewelry. Yeah, that stuff. [Kendra Wilkinson] - Sam Worthington: A Man's Man? Or a woman's man but sometimes man's woman I really had nothing for this. [Lainey Gossip] - Amanda Seyfried survives on weird raw foods yet won't return my calls. How does that work? [PopEater] - Kirstie Alley wants you to lose weight with Xenu power even though she'll deny that last part. [Dlisted] - Eva Longoria spent her birthday with Kim Kardashian? Did she need help flattening out old photos? I'm confused. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Kristin Cavallari probably didn't even have to pay for the tire. [HollywoodTuna] - The Twilight Series is out of its goddamn mind. [TheFABlife] - Kate Gosselin is rich and wants to be on TV forever. Shut up. [Huffington Post] - Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz and the movie that will be clearly marketed on the suspicion they had sex in front of Jessica Biel. [Amy Grindhouse] - Drake is an alright guy. [Bossip] - Mark Wahlberg wants you to say "hi" to your mother for him. Then tell her he's shirtless. [ICYDK] - Gisele Bundchen does Vogue. [Socialite Life] - Gerard Butler wants you to see his ass. [Betty Confidential] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter Scope Out (16) Pics of Kelly Landry After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Kate Winslet in a bikini. With other men…


While the rest of the world found out she's divorcing Sam Mendes, Kate Winslet spent today in Mexico with a boat full of random dudes which I'm guessing was a last minute substitute for Leonardo DiCaprio's penis who, don't get me wrong, would've totally been there if he could. It's just he promised Bar Refaeli he'd have sex in her supermodel vagina before going to the club and having his pick of any woman he wants. But, again, totally would've been there.
Photos: Splash News
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Francia Raisa in a bikini


Here's The Secret of Life of the American Teenager star Francia Raisa - Relax, she's 21. - conveniently posing for the paparazzi in a bikini and roller blades the same day her made for TV movie debuted. Unfortunately she's an idiot because the Internet doesn't work on Sundays, so now we're just staring at her breasts for absolutely no promotional purpose whatsoever. Unless they're capable of time travel. In which case, she should prove she's not a terrorist by letting me get to second in front of Ben Franklin. Scope Out (12) Pics of Francia Raisa After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Adrianne Curry is a good wife


Adrianne Curry posted - then removed - the above pic on Saturday with the following tweet:
reason 298 why my husband loves me & my cooking. naughty naughty #fuckwearingpants
What I love about Adrianne is that she empowers women by demonstrating they can be both in the kitchen and taking pictures of themselves as faceless sex objects. Clearly, this is better than getting paid as much as men only to spend it all on shoes. Stop me if I'm making too much sense. NOTE: Full size versions are slightly NSFW depending on your workplace's ass cheek threshold.
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Cheryl Burke in a bikini and other news


- Demi Lovato attempts to de-gay Joe Jonas with the strong, masculine arms of Jesus. [Dlisted] - George Clooney is probably making love to women through the hole in a pineapple as we speak. [Lainey Gossip] - Nicole Scherzinger is on Dancing with the Stars? How is that even fair? [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Denise Richards and Joanna Krupa are freeing the wrong puppies. [HollywoodTuna] - Spencer Pratt just made Osama Bin Laden piss himself. Laughing. [PopEater] - Rielle Hunter genuinely surprised a photo shoot involving a sex-tape-filming mistress wasn't classy. [TheFABlife] - Mischa Barton and kids with cancer. Why not? [Huffington Post] - Slash likes 'em pre-op. [StarPulse] - Kirstie Alley eats until someone dies. [Celebslam] - Johnny Depp having a pajama party with his evil twin Donny Jepp. (I have no clue.) [PopSugar] - Miley Cyrus claims the Internet wastes your life. I'll be the judge of that. *looks at house full of cats* Dammit. [Just Jared] - Jude Law should get some sort of medal. [The Blemish] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter Scope Out (16) Pics of Cheryl Burke After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Julie Bowen has the Internet


I'm not saying Julie Bowen reads this site, but here she is yesterday in a swimsuit that might as well have "Don't look at my dragon belly" written on it. On that note, these pics prove her hotness is proportionate to the amount of clothes she has on. I'm pretty sure the only way I could make love to her is if she wore a tux. And the light's were off in case her vagina looks like a triceratops. Scope Out (16) Pics of Julie Bowen After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Whitney Port in a bikini and other news


- Corey Haim suddenly matters to celebrities with Twitter accounts. [PopEater] - Gwyneth Paltrow thinks she can sing now. [Lainey Gossip] - Christina Hendricks gets her own Barbie doll. [Dlisted] - Grace Jones really needs to stop doing this. [DrunkenStepfather: Site is NSFW] - Marisa Miller should be bronzed and presented to me by the cast of Twilight. [Celebslam] - Charlie Sheen is going back to work already. Good thing they settled that whole attacking his wife thing. Oh, wait. [Huffington Post] - Demi Moore has looked at her daughter's face, right? Just checking. [TheFABlife] - Farrah Fawcett's family gets an apology from the Academy Awards. [StarPulse] - Sofia Vergara is still chesty as hell. [HollywoodTuna] - Marion Cotillard as I've often dreamt of her. [Just Jared] - Robert Pattinson used to get the shit kicked out of him a lot. No, not Captain Emo Vampire. [The Blemish] - Gary Dourdan does have experience with crime scenes. [Bossip] Follow The Superficial on Facebook || Twitter
Photos: Splash News
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Julie Bowen in a bikini


Here's Modern Family star Julie Bowen in Hawaii on Sunday, and this is a woman who should probably remained fully clothed. No, really, up until I saw these, I was under the impression Julie Bowen was smoking hot. Turns out her torso looks like the underbelly of a dragon if dragons came complete with a Kelly Ripa Penis Button ™. Scope Out (16) Pics of Julie Bowen After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Alessandra Ambrosio stretching in a bikini is not the Oscars


As the world focuses its attention on last night's Academy Awards, it's comforting to know supermodels are still out there stretching and standing in the ocean. In a way, they're almost like The Hurt Locker, but with less war-fighting and more making women self-conscious about their appearance so they'll try to fit in Victoria's Secret underwear. (Out of respect for Katherine Bigelow, I'm not going to say which is the nobler cause.)
Photos: Splash News
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And The Oscar Goes To…


Me, for posting these pics of Argentinian model Belen Rodriguez instead of Ed Asner on the red carpet which is, literally, what I almost did. (I liked Up. Sue me.) In the meantime, feel free to make this an Oscars open thread while I join today's young people on Twitter even though they're apparently all masturbating on Chat Roulette 24/7. Then again I could always write "James Cameron is a penis" on my penis. I'll get back to you. Follow The Superficial's Oscar Coverage on Twitter Starting at 8 PM EST.
Photos: Splash News
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Audrina Patridge on Wheels


Here are the behind the scenes/outtakes from Audrina Patridge's FHM photo shoot making the Internet rounds today and I'm not really going to get into the specifics of why I'm posting these. But if you guessed it's to make Heather Graham roller derby Audrina Patridge in the vagina for stealing her schtick, you're a goddamn wizard and should get out of my head.
Photos: AudrinaXO.com/FHM
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Audrina Patridge in a bikini


As some of you know I turned 30 on Sunday, so last night I decided to mark the occasion by turning myself into a walking projectile vomit machine who announced to an entire bar "I think this jukebox gave me AIDS." True story. On that note, I'm taking my first sick day in years to recuperate, but my fine sober partners below will be more than happy to satiate your wanton thirst for gossip. The Superficial will return to its regularly scheduled programming tomorrow where hopefully I'll write better jokes than whatever the hell happened in that OJ post. See you in the morning!
Photos: FHM
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Ceiling Eyes Does A Bikini Well

Mimi's retoucher Megan Fox-ed her face! Either way, Audrina Patridge is rocking the only thing she can do well - wear a bikini! The Hills star's chest rocks and lanky bod are looking killer as she strikes a pose for FHM. Ryan Cabrera is a very tolerant lucky man!
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via Celebrity gossip juicy celebrity rumors Hollywood gossip blog from Perez Hilton.

Kelly Bensimon in a bikini


It's been getting way too heavy around here, so thank God someone finally put a bikini on. Unfortunately none of you know who Kelly Bensimon is because she's on The Real Housewives of New York which exactly five people watch yet somehow you're dating one of them. On that note, to extract any sexiness out of this post, you're going to want to focus on the just-barely exposed areola and not the over-tanned wildebeest it's attached to. Trust me on this one. Scope Out (16) Pics of Kelly Bensimon After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Carrie Prejean is living in sin


RadarOnline reports "traditional marriage" crusader and former Miss California Carrie Prejean is living with in sin with her fiance Kyle Boller of the St. Louis Rams where they're no doubt eating shellfish. BURN THEM!:
Carrie and Kyle got engaged in early February after a whirlwind romance and a sexy trip to Hawaii.
A source close to the couple confirmed to RadarOnline.com that Carrie has indeed moved in. "She's living there. He's remodeling the house and she's helping him."
Of course learning an outspoken Christian with fake tits is a hypocrite isn't exactly news, but check out the trend Carrie Prejean has started. Here's Laura Ashley, Miss Beverly Hills 2010 telling FOX News gay people should be stoned:
"If man lies with mankind as he would lie with a woman, both of them have committed an abomination. They shall surely be put to death and their blood shall be upon them. The Bible is pretty black and white."
So if this pattern continues, we can pretty much count on a 2011 Miss California contender walking onstage with Perez Hilton's severed head. I'm suddenly on-board with this. More Pics of Carrie Prejean's Nipples
Photos: Fame
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Bar Refaeli is a f-cking whore


Folks, I'm not a religious man, but there's no way to look at these pics without acknowledging Satan is real and wants me to fly a plane directly into MTV. On that note, do you think Leonardo DiCaprio would let me borrow one? He sort of has to if you think about it.
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Bar Refaeli in a bikini


Here's Bar Refaeli in Mexico on Sunday which got me thinking: If I threatened to vote Republican and start driving an oil tanker to work, would Leonardo DiCaprio let me have sex with his girlfriend? What if I just promised to start recycling? That's gotta be worth at least a boob grab. Above the shirt. UPDATE: Last offer. I'll finally watch An Inconvenient Truth, but only if it's projected on Bar's naked ass. Think of the children! Scope Out (20) Pics of Bar Refaeli After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Britney Spears has a secret


Britney Spears has some sensitive information to hide and it's not the fact that there's no way these latest Candies pics were taken recently or outside of a virtual reality. TMZ reports:
Lawyers for Britney Spears' conservatorship have made their move to keep confidential "critical information" about Britney and her children.
The information is so sensitive the lawyers note on the open market "The possibility of such enormous profits presents a substantial risk that Ms. Spears' most confidential medical and personal information will be disclosed."
So the attorneys want the sensitive info about Britney, Sean Preston and Jayden James sealed, and stat.
Is this about the time she covered her kids in BBQ sauce and tried to grill them? Because no one's really going to be floored by that one. The only surprising information that could possibly come out of these medical reports is finding out Sean and Jayden are not only up-to-date on their vaccinations but were never once hospitalized after getting stuck in a chimney because "Mama wanted us to steal Santa's sack of toys."
Photos: Candies
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