Category Archives: affair

Jesse James banged a Nazi

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 19, 2010

Apparently Jesse James' penis is a divining rod for crazy because he managed to not only stick it in a heavily-tattooed woman who grew up Amish, she's also a Nazi. TMZ has obtained photos from last year of Michelle posing in Nazi attire and court documents in her child custody case reveal she has white power memorabilia all over her house even though - wait for it - her son is Jewish. Sandra Bullock has to be bathing with Brillo pads right now. On that note, kudos to everyone in the comments who noticed the letters W and P on Michelle's legs and assumed it meant White Power. (I was leaning towards Wiener Parking Lot.)
Photos: Splash News, TMZ
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More Proof That Jesse James’ Hoe Is A Nazi!!!

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 19, 2010
We mentioned earlier the news that the tattooed mistress of Jesse James was allegedly a fan of Nazi culture. Now, like John Mayer's penis, we know for certain that this bitch is a full blown white supremacist! A WHOREific photoshoot has surfaced online of Michelle McGee, showing just how enthusiastic the tramp is with being a Nazi. [...]
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Jesse James’ Ho Was Paid $30K For Interview?

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 19, 2010
This is truly pathetic. Jesse James' alleged mistress Michelle McGee reportedly collected $30,000 for her interview with InTouch about their affair. Though she claimed to have not known that Jesse was with Sandra Bullock, sources close to the tattoo model say that she DID know and hoped she would become a mainstream celebrity from exposing [...]
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Tiger Woods is romantic

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

Because hush money doesn't go as far as it used to these days, Joslyn James has launched an entire website dedicated to posting text messages she supposedly received from Tiger Woods during their affair. Here's just a couple samples from Tiger's alternate personality who apparently has a PhD in anal sex:
Tiger:Sent: 03:32 PM 08/29/2009:
I have no idea. I would love to have the ability to make you sore
Tiger:Sent: 03:35 PM 08/29/2009:
In a week. I will try to wear you out
Tiger:Sent: 03:36 PM 08/29/2009:
After i cum you better start sucking my cock to get it hard
Tiger:Sent: 04"02 PM 08/29/2009:
I want to treat you rough. Throw you around, spank and slap you
Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM 08/29/2009:
Slap your face. Treat you like a dirty little whore. Put my cock in your ass and then shove it down your throat
Tiger:Sent: 04:07 PM 08/29/2009:
You are my fucking whore
Tiger:Sent: 04:08 PM 08/29/2009:
Hold you down while i choke you and Fuck that ass that i own
Considering Joslyn James' entire family has labeled her a pathological liar, I'm almost 90% certain she's just re-posting dialog from her latest porn and waiting for a giant check. Although TMZ has a convincing theory to the contrary. And if it is true, I want to know how the hell we lost the greatest erotic writer of our time to the most boring sport known to man. It's like a master chef deciding he wants to reheat oatmeal for a living. I mean, Jesus Christ.
Photos: Splash News
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Porn Star Leaks Her Tiger Woods Sexts

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 18, 2010
If this stuff is legit then… WOW, what a freak! Joslyn James has launched her new wesbite, sextingjoslynjames.com, and posted alleged text messages sent from Tiger Woods during their three year affair! WARNING: These get pretty raunchy. Not that we expected anything less! Check out just a few of the crazy sexts below: Tiger:Sent: 04:06 PM [...]
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Michelle McGee’s Former Photographer Calls BS On Her Alleged Affair With Jesse James

By Perez Hilton | Published: March 18, 2010
Maybe this girl is a famewhore and a liar! Yesterday, reports started circulating that Sandra Bullock's husband, Jesse James, was having an affair with tattoo model Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, and within HOURS Sandy had pulled out of the UK premiere of her film The Blind Side. However, we just received this very INTERESTING e-mail from one of [...]
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Sandra Bullock got the f-ck out

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 18, 2010

Further confirming reports her husband Jesse James had sex with a walking tattoo, Sandra Bullock has already packed up and left, according to People:
The actress left the Southern California house she shares with James just days before a report of infidelity by her husband surfaced, a source tells PEOPLE.
Bullock, 45, left on Monday, the source says. Bullock, who won her first Oscar - a Best Actress award - for The Blind Side on March 7, also abruptly canceled a trip to Europe for the London premiere of the film.
I legitimately feel bad for Sandra Bullock because I made the unfortunate mistake of watching pre-Oscar footage where she spent the whole time raving about Jesse James' daughter, who she's been deeply invested in helping him secure custody of, only to have him Tiger Woods her a week later. However, I also sat through The Proposal and could just as easily start whipping out sparklers. I'm a raging conflict of emotions.
Photos: Getty
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Sandra Bullock should probably get tested

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 17, 2010

Because Jesse James banged this without a condom. I'm not saying all women with tattoos who fuck married man have VD, but I'm also not saying "You just got Blind Sided!" hasn't become the proper medical term for genital warts. Just so there's no confusion. Thanks to Willie Dixon in the comments. UPDATE: Added a bunch more pics after the jump.
Photos: Michelle Bombshell, Splash News
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Jesse James cheated on Sandra Bullock

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 17, 2010

Fresh off her Oscar win, Sandra Bullock has essentially confirmed rumors Jesse James cheated on her by pulling out the UK premiere of The Blind Side which Warner Bros. has decided to scrap all together. BBC News reports:
Warner Brothers said the star, who won the best actress Academy Award last week, will not travel to the UK due to "unforeseen circumstances".
The premiere had been due to take place next Tuesday in London.
The cancellation announcement coincided with unconfirmed reports in the US media regarding the actress's marriage.
What's even more surprising is the rumors came from InTouch which means it might as well have been written by Tila Tequila:
While Jesse has had an 11-month affair, including five weeks of sex, with Michelle "Bombshell" McGee, she believed he and Sandra were no longer together. "I would never have hooked up with him if I thought he was a married man," Michelle tells In Touch in an exclusive interview. "He gave me the impression they were separated." For weeks, while Sandra was in Atlanta shooting The Blind Side, Michelle had sex at least once a week with the Monster Garage star. Far from a one-night stand, his relationship with Michelle was intimate and highly charged. Michelle even says she called Jesse, who didn't wear underwear or condoms, by a special pet name, Vanilla Gorilla, because he was so "well-endowed."
Vanilla Gorilla? HA! No wonder people cheat so much. That shit's hilarious. Seriously, I don't even know how you get mad at something like that. "But, baby, she called herself 'Bombshell' and I was 'Vanilla Gorilla.' You should be laughing instead of aiming that gun directly at my penis." UPDATE: Posted pics of Michelle Bombshell here.
Photos: Getty
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Rielle Hunter is a liar? Get out.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 16, 2010

John Edwards' mistress and the mother of his love-child, Rielle Hunter, cried to Barbara Walters yesterday that she's repulsed by her GQ photoshoot (above) and claimed she thought they were only going to use headshots. This prompted GQ reporter Lisa DePaulo to go on today's Good Morning America and essentially say "You're fucking kidding me, right?":
"Did she say she thought they would be headshots?" GQ reporter Lisa DePaulo asked incredulously on "Good Morning America."
"Rielle is a smart woman. She knows what she wore and what she was doing in the photo shoot," DePaulo said.
Hunter, a one-time videographer for Edwards' presidential campaign, posed for the pictures wearing only a man's button down white shirt, a string of pearls and panties. In some of the photos she is posed on a bed with stuffed animals piled around her. Her panties are peeking out in one frame.
But GQ released a video of the shoot to "GMA" today and at one point the videographer asks Hunter, "You want to take a look at this?"
It's kind of hard to claim you only thought a magazine was doing headshots when you're sitting in a pile of stuffed animals without pants on. Which raises another question: Why the hell are you being photographed in your child's bedroom without pants on? That didn't raise any red flags at all? Granted, I haven't read a Good Housekeeping in years, so maybe that's how shit rolls now. Except I have a feeling it doesn't and this was entirely Rielle Hunter's idea because she thinks allusions to child porn will somehow win John Edward's hand in marriage. Stop me if I'm getting warm. Video of Rielle Posing for GQ After the Jump
Photos: GQ
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Tiger Woods ready to be Golfing Jesus again

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 16, 2010

Tiger Woods is playing in the Masters to the surprise of absolutely no one even remotely familiar with golf. ESPN reports:
"The Masters is where I won my first major and I view this tournament with great respect. After a long and necessary time away from the game, I feel like I'm ready to start my season at Augusta," Woods said in a statement.
"The major championships have always been a special focus in my career and, as a professional, I think Augusta is where I need to be, even though it's been a while since I last played."
"I have undergone almost two months of inpatient therapy and I am continuing my treatment," Woods said in his statement. "Although I'm returning to competition, I still have a lot of work to do in my personal life."
In Tiger Woods' defense, pretending to be sorry all day is fucking boring. No, really, you can't even relax and play Xbox without having to look remorseful for banging 27 hookers in one night. I mean, Christ, there's not even breasts in this game! Women.
Photos: Getty
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Tiger Woods’ caddy is a horrible wingman

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 4, 2010

Tiger Woods' longtime caddy Steve Williams had no idea about the 67 cocktail waitresses his boss should've used the 4-iron with and apparently would've gone public had he known, according to People:
"I'm a straight-up sort of person," Williams told New Zealand's TV3. "If I had known something was going on, the whistle would have been blown."
Though Woods hasn't spoken to Williams since his accident - and subsequent scandal - in November 2009, Williams has been personally affected by his employer's indiscretions.
"Of course I'm mad at him, why would you not be?" Williams said. "I'm close with his wife and he's got two lovely children and he's let them down."
But that doesn't mean Williams doesn't still stand by his boss. "When a guy's having a tough time, it's not up to me to beat him with a stick right now," the caddy said. "He's getting enough grilling from everybody else."
It's probably not the best career move to publicly admit you would've hung Tiger Woods out to dry had you known about his 800 affairs. Seriously, you're a caddy, and last time I checked that means you shut up, carry the man's clubs and toss a hooker in a water hazard if he tells you to. Granted, I've yet to get one to do it myself, that had more to do with me randomly driving my car up onto the green and less about respecting time-honored traditions. Steve.
Photos: Getty
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Elin Woods re-enters the Tiger

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: March 4, 2010

Because diamonds don't come out faucets - at least in the guest house - Elin Woods is moving back in with Tiger Woods. RadarOnline reports:
On Wednesday, Elin and Tiger spent approximately three hours together at the house where they will once again live together. They were in the backyard, and a source close to the situation told RadarOnline.com exclusively that at one point Tiger kissed Elin on the cheek three times and they hugged.
That shows how far the couple has come from Thanksgiving, when Elin discovered he was having an affair with Rachel Uchitel. That discovery let to an argument, with Tiger leaving the house in the early morning and crashing his vehicle into a fire hydrant and a tree.
I'm sure this had to be a difficult decision for Elin. Going back to the man who humiliated her in front of the entire world or living in a house that doesn't have heated tile floors? It's like something out of a Lifetime movie about overcoming impossible odds. Or pies. I honestly have no idea what any of them are about.
Photos: Splash News
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Tiger Woods made love to pills, too

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 25, 2010
0218_tiger_smile_00.jpg Realizing the ol' sex addiction routine was about 25 cocktail waitresses past its prime, Tiger Woods has checked himself into an Arizona rehab clinic for addiction to Vicodin and Ambien, according to The National Enquirer:
"In therapy, Tiger blamed a lot of his cheating behavior on his drug addiction, saying that the drugs were responsible for impairing his judgment," a source familiar with the sports superstar's treatment told The ENQUIRER.
The disgraced golfer entered The Meadows on the recommendation of therapists who treated him for sex addiction at the Gentle Path program in Hattiesburg, Miss., said the source.
"After he left Gentle Path, Tiger flew to Arizona for his initial intake interview at The Meadows, which is better equipped to handle rehab for drug addiction and depression."
Right. Because popping a bunch of sleeping pills and painkillers is the reason Tiger Woods loves pussy so much. Before all this he was practically Amish and wouldn't go near Elin's Swedish model vagina except for procreation. And only if she came at him with a cattle prod. Damn you, drugs!
Photo: Getty
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Chris Brown supports Tiger Woods

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 25, 2010

Somewhere Nike just shit a Cross Trainer. Via E! News:
"My hat goes off to him," Chris says. "I support him. I hope he gets back on the field and does his thing because he is the best at it."
But the chatter doesn't stop there. Without prodding, Rihanna's ex-beau, a self-proclaimed non-troublemaker, offers a comparison to their current dramatic plights.
"I think people always deserve a second chance," he says. "I know my fans gave me a second chance and people gave me a second chance."
In Brown's mind, it's all about what you do in public, not behind closed doors.
"Whatever his personal life is--and I think this goes for me and him--his personal life is his personal life. Nobody has the right to place judgment or make any judgment on somebody else's personal life when they're not directly involved with them," he continues. "He plays golf. That's his sport, that's his hobby, that's his love, that's what people love him for. They don't love him for the other stuff that they talk about. Even with me, I do music, I sing songs, I'm an entertainer, I'm a performer. But people make mistakes."
So let me see if I got this straight: Millions of dollars in hush money to Tiger's mistresses, the largest, most painstakingly scripted press conference on the planet, a Sports Illustrated photographer on staff to take pretend candid photos, but no one thought to toss Chris Brown a pair of solid gold high-tops to never say the words Tiger Woods until 2012? Christ. How do you miss that one? At this point you might as well let Tiger bang hookers on C-SPAN like he asked.
Photos: Getty
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Tiger Woods makes Elin apologize to daughter’s school

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 24, 2010

Because this was entirely her fault, Elin Woods has cosigned a letter of apology to her daughter's school for the increased paparazzi stemming from Tiger's penis. Via E! News:
"We would like to share our appreciation for your support over the past several months and offer our personal apology for any inconvenience you are experiencing due to the increased media scrutiny surrounding our children. We truly understand how frustrating it can be.
"We hope that the paparazzi will find something better to do with their time in the near future. In the meantime, it is our goal to keep life as normal as possible for our children. We are sure that as parents you can appreciate that. For Sam, that normalcy means attending the school that she enjoys so much."
The letter was signed by both Tiger and Elin which makes no fucking sense. It's not like she was sitting around the house going "Hmm. Maybe I should stop my husband from having a bunch of explosive secret affairs I don't know about before it upsets the PTA. -- Eh, fuck it. I'll just have a daiquiri."
Photos: Splash News
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Matthew Fox cheated on this? I don’t believe it.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 24, 2010

Matthew Fox has allegedly been cheating on his wife with a stripper from Oregon, according to InTouch:
"I was dancing onstage, and I made eye contact with him immediately. I got so excited," Stefani tells In Touch. Since she was a big Party of Five fan, she recognized him right away -- but she soon found out he was much different from the clean-cut characters he plays. Matthew, Stefani says, started by buying her a drink, then paid for four private dances, each worth $20. "He asked me, 'Why are you working in a place like this?' I told him that I am a single mom and needed the money," Stefani says. "He absolutely did not mention a wife or family, and I don't remember him wearing a wedding ring."
Despite the club's strict rules about dating customers, Stefani left her 5-year-old son with a babysitter and claims she met Matthew later that night at the house he was staying in with his entourage. "We sat around and talked about his show. He complimented me and was saying how down-to-earth I am. He told me he was going to be in town for a couple of days," she tells In Touch. Pretty soon, things heated up. "He didn't tell me to keep it a secret or anything. He didn't even use protection. He didn't seem concerned at all," says Stefani.
I love how these mistresses always come forward and act surprised the married man they had sex with didn't use a condom. IT'S YOUR VAGINA. Clearly some sort of rationalization took place where letting the star of Lost bang you without a rubber outweighed the risk of getting knocked up or an itchy urethra. Otherwise, surprise, you got smoke monstered! (Or raped, whatever you want to call it.)
Photos: Getty
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Oh, good. The Whore Parade’s back.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 19, 2010

Apparently Joslyn James was the starting shot because several of Tiger Woods' mistresses are already lining up TV appearances to give their response to today's press conference/expressionless script-reading. Here's Jamie Jungers talking to E! News pushing a theme we probably should start getting used to: "He didn't even say my name!" Of course, in fairness to Tiger, I doubt he remembers a single one. Christ, there's like 90: On mistresses having feelings, too: "He's apologizing to these young kids...everybody but the women that were involved in the relationships. It's hurtful. It's rude. He should have apologized to the people like myself, his mistresses, because we're dealing with a lot of stuff too." On Elin Woods: "Once a cheater always a cheater. Is Elin going to stay with him? I would say no, but I don't have kids with him. He would have to do a lot prove you can trust him again. He needs to go to rehab. He should have never got married. He should have never had kids." On being a home-wrecking whore: "I'm not a home-wrecking whore. If it was up to me I would have never done it in the first place, but I was young and stupid. Of course I'm going to feel guilty...I have a heart. But it was years ago. I shouldn't be the one to be blamed for it. He had lied to me about so many things. Everybody makes mistakes." On wanting a personal apology from Tiger: "Enough has been said and done. I don't want to discuss it. I don't want to be known as Tiger Woods' mistress my whole life. I don't want him to contact me or address it. I don't think I would say anything to him. I want it to be done." Of course, Jamie Jungers wants it to be over with. She's simply getting paid to party at all those nightclubs because she's so pretty. Sort of like how Tiger banged for her mind. Video After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Joslyn James had a press conference, too

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 19, 2010

Despite the fact her entire family is coming out of the woodwork to say she's a compulsive liar, Joslyn James and her attorney Gloria Allred held their own press conference today in response to Tiger's televised apology, according to E! News:
"I would be open to a telephoned apology from Tiger but I really feel that I deserve to look at him in person, face to face, in the eyes because I did not deserve this," the 32-year-old Top Heavy 4 star said.
James said the Woods statement felt fake.
"An apology, one that was meaningful and that meant something, and I didn't hear none of that," James said. "He's so selfish; it's not about anybody but him. It didn't feel like it was real. "Tiger pursued me over time and I fell in love with him and hold me he loved me," she added, choking up.
While Allred repeatedly mentioned how much emotional distress Tiger caused her client, she said she was not planning to file a lawsuit against the sports icon.
Oh, wow, they're not going to pursue a lawsuit based on the hurt feelings of a porn star caught fucking a married man? How gracious of them considering there's no way they would've lost with that angle. I'm not even on a jury and I'm already sitting here trying to give her money. (Anyone know where you insert the dollar bills on this thing?) Video After the Jump
Photos: Splash News
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Of course they do.

By The Superficial - Because You're Ugly | Published: February 19, 2010
0219_tiger_nike_00.JPG To absolutely zero surprise to no one, Nike accepts Tiger Woods' apology. Via TMZ:
"Tiger has apologized and made his position clear. Nike fully supports him and his family. We look forward to him returning to golf."
Wait a minute. Can Nike even accept an apology they made a sweatshop worker write under the watchful eye of their lawyers? NIKE: So, listen, Trang. You get our boy Tiger making millions for hitting a ball with a stick again, and this entire box of Uncle Ben's is yours. TRANG: Will there also be water to boil it? NIKE: TASE HIM! He's gone mad!
Photo: Getty
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