Category Archives: 2010 golden globes

Lindsay Lohan legitimately invited to Golden Globes party


Despite the fact she hid her face with a hood and enough bronzer to make those Jersey Shore kids pop erections of envy, Lindsay Lohan was actually invited to the The New York Times Style Magazine Party and didn't crash as some outlets claimed yesterday. Gossip Cop reports:
Gossip Cop spoke to the party's organizer, Peggy Siegal, who told us, "She didn't crash. She was expected."
And, among the reasons Lohan came to the party -- which also drew the likes of Tom Cruise, Katie Holmes, Jeff Bridges, Jane Fonda, Adam Lambert, and Anna Kendrick - was that she wanted to see Best Screenplay nominee ("It's Complicated") Nancy Meyers, who cast her way back when in "The Parent Trap."
Of course, none of this makes any sense. After being recognized by your peers and the Hollywood Foreign Press, who the hell wants to walk into a celebration where Ninja Lindsay Lohan's trying to fellate her career back to life? I'd rather see a spider monkey with AIDS dishing out the shrimp. "Thank you, Popo. Haha, look, everybody, he's biting my ear! Whee!"
Photos: Getty
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via The Superficial - Because You're Ugly.

GOLDEN GLOBES: How many f-cking people were at this thing?


And here's one last pass through the Golden Globes before I lose my shit and firebomb an orphanage: Jennifer Aniston does a bang-up job of diffusing those Gerard Butler rumors by showing him her vagina on the red carpet. Anna Paquin who got robbed for Best Actress despite not being afraid to go full pubic on HBO. There is no God. Kate Hudson. Because sometimes filmmakers need to remember what box-office poison looks like. It looks like Kate Hudson. Penelope Cruz should be legally forced to wear a bikini at all times. Courteney Cox representing her show about large-breasted women who want to bang younger men. I think it's called "Your Mom Town." Sofia Vergara.... I really have no legitimate reason for these. You got me. Kristen Bell enjoying her last Golden Globes after When in Rome hits. It's from the director of Daredevil. I rest my case. Drew Barrymore who gave me five panic attacks during her acceptance speech. You've been in the business since you were an embryo! C'mon. To any other famous people I missed, somehow you'll survive. Scope Out (32) Pics of the Golden Globes After the Jump
Photos: Getty
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via The Superficial - Because You're Ugly.

GOLDEN GLOBES: Demi Moore stays home, bitches about her hair

0118_demi_moore_00.jpg While Ashton Kutcher presented at last night's Golden Globes, Demi Moore stayed at home because she was having "a bad hair day" and tweeted a pic of herself to prove it. Except one small problem: She's fucking Demi Moore. Seriously, how does the prime financier of the entire plastic surgery industry not have a team of hair stylists living in her basement? I think I know what's really going on here. She ran out of unicorn blood and her body reverted back to it's natural state. Picture your grandmother naked, but with the head of Demi Moore. Then try not to nail gun your penis which is exactly what I'm doing.
Photo: Demi Moore
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via The Superficial - Because You're Ugly.

GOLDEN GLOBES: The people who weren’t Christina Hendricks’ breasts.


And now for a look at celebrities who attended last night Golden Globes but didn't have stupid huge breasts like Christina Hendricks therefore rendering them dead to me: Christina Aguilera with her rapidly shrinking chesticles. (Stop. Working. Out.) Halle Berry whose chest has probably sold 85 billion copies of Swordfish. To me. January Jones. You still don't know who this is. Chloe Sevigny: Sponsored by Swiffer. Olivia Wilde who kind of phoned this one in. Let's be honest. Maggie Gyllenhaal. I'm pretty sure she was only there to shank Reese Witherspoon. Fergie and her life partner Josh Duhamel. One day your union will be legal! Sandra Bullock who dared to play a Christian woman who loves football, in America. That's adversity. Jon Hamm sporting a beard which will eventually be shaved to an impeccable stubble making me you question your my sexuality. -- Wait. Robert Downey Jr. who fucking owned the place and from now on should give everyone's acceptance speech. For everything. Scope Out (40) Pics of The Golden Globes After the Jump
Photos: Getty, WENN
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via The Superficial - Because You're Ugly.

GOLDEN GLOBES: The only part that mattered.


Those are happening. In the meantime, I live-tweeted the Golden Globes, so if you're into reading random shit in reverse chronological order that only makes sense if you're watching at the same time, holy fuck do I have you covered. More pics to come in the morning. Video After the Jump
Photos: Getty
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via The Superficial - Because You're Ugly.